O (con’t)
It wasn't fancy built at all
Had newspapers on the wall
It was air conditioned in the wintertime
It was just a humble hut
But it's door was never shut
And a man could get inside without a dime

Copyright Quartet Music, Inc. & Bexhill Music, from the singing of Ed Britt

OH DEAR WHAT CAN THE MATTER BE (Seven Old Ladies' (alt. title)
From: Helena R Hello! My grandmother & some of her friends had a version of that song that I can't remember clearly either. I've checked the web for anything, and found 'three old ladies,' but I remember a verse that isn't listed there! Have you found out anything more, or remember more of the lyrics to this song?  Thanks, Helena R.

Ed Note: If you search on the ‘Net, there are many other verses in varying degrees of the more “non-family-oriented” kind — ‘nuff said [:>)?

CHORUS: Oh, dear, what can the matter be
Seven old ladies got locked in the lavat'ry
They were there from Sunday 'till Saturday
Nobody knew they were there

The first to come in was the minister's daughter
(The first was the Bishop of Chichester's daughter)
She went in to pass some superfluous water
She pulled on the chain and the rising tide caught her
And nobody knew she was there

The next to come in was dear Mrs. Mason
The stalls were all full so she pissed in the basin
And that is the water that I washed my face in
And nobody knew she was there

The third old lady was Amelia Garpickle;
Her urge was sincere, her reaction was fickle.
She hurdled the door; she'd forgotten her nickel,